Since the holidays have come and passed, yet the sales at the malls remain, I thought a blog regarding the wonderful world of mall food sounded rather appropriate. MSN Health & Fitness posted an article from Men's Health listing 20 of the worst mall foods in America. To spare you the agonizing task of reading a listing of the worst foods possible to consume (not to mention the gasps of shock and the immediate need to hang your head in shame for eating the indicated tasty death-traps), I’ve chosen 6 of the Worst of the Worst mall foods in America (yeah, they’re that bad…) to discuss.
1) The first food on my “ex this off your list to eat” is the Cranberry Flax Muffin which can be purchased at your friendly, local Starbucks. This healthy sounding, yet completely BAD for you breakfast choice has a whopping 410 calories, 17 grams of fat (1 gram saturated fat), 57 grams of carbohydrates, and 32 grams of sugar. Are you quivering in fear yet? I would be after reading that list of “nutritional information”. The equivalent to this seemingly harmless muffin is three scoops of Breyers “All Natural Butter Pecan” ice cream (if I were you and had to choose between a flax muffin and three scoops of ice cream, I’d pick the ice cream). Not only does the muffin contain enough sugar to send your glucose levels into overdrive, but the calorie content makes up almost half of your daily intake of calories (eek, and that’s only breakfast –without the crazy coffee concoction you’ve just ordered). The article suggests the Banana Loaf as an alternative. It has 150 calories less than the muffin and about 13 grams less of sugar.
2) Smoothies…ah, who can say “no” to those seemingly healthy and delicious fruit-filled beverages? I certainly can’t, but don’t let the title of “smoothie” fool you. The Peanut Butter Moo’d (24 oz.) at Jamba Juice could practically kill you with one sip. This smoothie contains 800 calories (good gracious!), 21 grams of fat (6 grams of saturated fat), 131 grams of carbohydrates (I think I feel faint just from reading that one), and 115 grams of sugar. Are you brave enough to know what the equivalent is to this smoothie? If so, continue reading this section, if not…seek out number three…The equivalent to this preposterous smoothie is twelve (12!) scoops of Breyers “All Natural Mint Chocolate Chip” ice cream. Okay, so let’s forget the calorie count for a few minutes and focus on how this smoothie will not only increase your blood sugar which can lead to a host of issues down the road (like diabetes), but the sugar PLUS the carb-load may also harm your liver. Run! Flee from the imposter smoothie known as a “peanut butter moo’d”! It’s not healthy, not in the slightest bit! Still like smoothies after reading that and want an alternative though? Try out Jamba Juice’s Strawberry Nirvana smoothie, the nutritional information isn’t ideal, but it’s certainly A LOT better compared to its menu sharing heavy-weight – the peanut butter moo’d.
3) So you’re in Quiznos and you’re thinking to yourself, “Hmm…I’m going to have the salad today for lunch to avoid the carbs in the bread.” Refrain! Erase this thought from your mind! Salads are crafty creatures luring you in with their leafy greens and innocent ‘healthy’ appeal. Here’s why: The Roasted Chicken (what’s wrong with roasted chicken, right? Just wait…) with Honey Mustard Flatbread Salad at Quiznos has – brace yourself – 1,110 calories…and now I wait to go on so you can recover from falling off your chair…Okay, moving forward, 74 grams of fat (14.5 saturated fat and 0.5 grams of trans fat), 2,030 milligrams of sodium, and finally 70 grams of carbohydrates. Need I continue on with how this kind of full meal salad, every day, once a day, will eventually put you into your grave? No, I think not…I think the calorie count alone has done the job for me…However, there is hope. If you really want a salad, your best bet would be to order a small side salad and a cup of soup. The recommendation from the article? A side chopped salad with reduced fat buttermilk ranch – it is 938 calories less than the evil-doer above. That alone has convinced me, has it convinced you?
4) Soup…it’s predominately liquid, right? So how horrible can it be for your body? Oh it’s bad…very bad. The Large Macaroni and Cheese Stew (which, in my opinion, sounds terrible just by its name alone) in a bread bowl from Au Bon Pain contains 1,120 calories, 42 grams of fat (19 grams saturated fat, 1 gram trans fat), 3,070 milligrams of sodium, and 157 grams of carbohydrates. Still think soup is risk-free? Like its salad brethren above, soup appears harmless, but will knock you out thanks to its calorie/sodium count and thanks to the bowl it comes in. The bread bowl adds 600 calories to the already calorie-filled soup and the sodium content will have you drinking water well into your 80’s. Also, this one bowl of soup is comparative to 22 small orders of McDonald’s French fries. Agh, why must you do this to me soup?! Oh how I loved thee! However, if you’re still interested in eating soup from Au Bon Pain, here is the alternative: Medium Old Fashioned Tomato Soup. Yeah it’s old fashioned, slightly boring, and if you don’t like tomatoes then you’re SOL, but it won’t put you in the grave quite as quickly as the macaroni stew mixture designed for taste rather than health.
5) Since McDonald’s was mentioned above it lends itself to a nice segue way into the next food to cross off your list…A McDonald’s Chocolate Triple Thick Shake at 32 ounces has – are you sitting down? No? You should be – 1,160 calories, 27 grams of fat (16 grams of saturated fat, 2 grams of trans fat), 203 grams of carbohydrates, and 168 grams of sugar. That is a meal in itself and takes the average calorie count for a woman (1200 calories per day) to its maximum in one moment of blissful indulgence and leaves you with only 40 allowable calories left to consume in order to maintain the recommended 1200 daily intake. For men at 1800 calories per day, this milkshake has chewed up (pardon the pun) most of your daily calories and only leaves you with 640 to work with for the rest of the day. This is only assuming you had not consumed 1-4 at all that day too. The worst part about this totally wretched, yet tasty vat of calories and fat is that it beats out the Big Mac, two of them in fact…yeah, just dwell on that for a few minutes…its equivalent is two big macs – oh that is just horrible. The alternative? Try the Vanilla Triple Thick Shake. It is 740 calories less than the chocolate one and contains 17 grams less fat. I’m still shuddering from that revelation of two big macs, are you?
6) If you have made it to my final and definitely the winner of the “worst of the worst” mall foods in America, then you’re a brave soul. It’s either that or very interested in knowing what could possibly be worse than the five I listed above. Oh, believe me…if you thought the muffin was bad, the smoothie appalling, the salad beyond reproach, the soup utterly wretched, the milkshake too terrible to utter its name, then you haven’t met Quiznos large Tuna Melt Club (with cheese and dressing). Yeah, if you’re faint of heart, do not continue reading…This scrumptious heart-attack in waiting contains 1,820 calories, 147 grams of fat (27 grams saturated fat, 1.5 grams of trans fat), 2,020 milligrams of sodium, and 85 grams of carbohydrates. Now, I know the carb amount is less than oh say the milkshake, but take a good long look at the calories and sodium numbers. My skin is shriveling up and I’m retaining water just reading the sodium count. Not only does this sandwich contain well over the maximum calorie intake for both men and women, it contains as much fat as 49 strips of bacon (and no, not the turkey kind – good old fashioned pork bacon) which is just unthinkable for a sandwich. Eat this daily and you might as well check yourself into a hospital with a request that the Defibrillator be on stand-by. Still like the tuna melt, but hate the nutritional facts? Try a small tuna melt without cheese and dressing (the mayo is okay, just say “light” mayo, because what is a tuna fish sandwich without mayo other than boring?). It is 1,320 calories less than its larger relative and has only 630 milligrams of sodium versus the 2,020 milligrams of sodium found in the larger version. Yeah, I told you it was the worst, by far…stay away from this calorie packed sandwich.
There you have it, 6 out of the 20 worst mall foods to consume. We all like the foods that tempt us, that’s why they’re so yummy, but just be conscious of what you’re putting into your body – it will thank you later on in life – and remember, everything in moderation, small portions are key.
**Still hungry for more information? Want to know the nutritional facts of your favorite dishes at your favorite restaurants? Check out Diet Facts.com. The website offers a listing of 497 restaurants and the nutritional information for their menus.
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